Ask dr helen dating the divorced

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We spoke in Camden, Maine, around the edges of the 2014 Pop Tech conference there. TIPPETT: I always ask whoever I’m speaking with if there was a religious or spiritual background to their childhood.

In this wonderfully personal conversation, Helen Fisher reveals how we can take this knowledge as a form of power for giving conscious new meaning to the thrilling and sometimes treacherous human realms of love, sex, and marriage. TIPPETT: Helen Fisher is a research associate in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University and she’s chief scientific advisor to the Internet dating site

TIPPETT: So where do you trace, really the — I’m just curious.

And, long before I knew that there was a nature/nurture controversy, I was very busy trying to measure how much of my own behavior was biological and how much of it was cultural.

FISHER: Whereas I think if you don’t know how powerful love is, you might try. In her TED talks that have been viewed by millions of people, and the research she does for Match.com, she wields science as a sobering, if entertaining, lens on what feel like the most meaningful encounters of our lives.

I mean, I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at the Hubble Telescope site on the Internet…

Having sex, Fisher says, can drive up dopamine in the brain and push you over the threshold toward falling in love.

And with orgasm, you experience a flood of oxytocin and vasopressin--giving you feelings of attachment.

But most important is obsessive thinking.” As Fisher says, “Someone is camping in your head.” Fisher and her colleagues have put over 75 people into a brain scanner (f MRI) to study the brain circuitry of romantic love: among them, 17 had just fallen madly in love; 15 had just been dumped; 17 reported they were still in love after an average of 21 years of marriage.

One of her central ideas is that romantic love is a drive stronger than the sex drive.

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